Jump, Fly, Fall
by Lamiya
Summary: Elena was tired, so she secretly turned to the life of drugs. Balancing the secret causes her to dance on the edge. It's not what anybody should do, and she knows it. Why does she continue?
1. A is for Alone

White lips, pale face

Breathing in snowflakes

Burnt lungs, sour taste

- "The A Team" by Ed Sheeran

* * *

Tired. I was so tired. I tried. I tried so hard for everyone to be happy, that I forgot about myself. What was to become of me? Damon and Stefan's relationship is strained because of me. Just like Katherine. Maybe I'm more like Katherine then I thought. My mind was overwhelmed with all this witch-y, vampire-y, supernatural stuff. It's like the world is telling me that I'm permitted from having a normal life. All because of me, my friends don't have a normal life, even one of them turned into a vampire.

I thought hard about life. To live, my blood pumping through my veins for the purpose of being taken away to use for the creation of a new species. That's not life. The people that I live with. My brother, I tried so hard to keep him in the dark and out of the vampire world. Jenna, now she's dead. All because of me. Damon and Stefan, I loved them. I loved them with all my heart, but now it's time to let go. You just have to love hard and let go. Stefan seemed to be having a problem with that, but he also was coping now. Damon, well, being Damon he is in denial. Just like he was with Katherine. Klaus, he was the one that started all this chaos, his obsession with making hybrids. Kol, just there for the fun of it. Rebekah, oh, she hates my guts, but I would too. I somehow tore her family apart, just like I did with the Salvatore brothers, and my family. Bonnie, I don't know what to do with out you. You helped me Bonnie, and I'll help you by letting go.

I need to get away, I need freedom. The question is: where would I get it? That's why I'm standing on Wickery Bridge. I'm waiting for my _friend_ to come, to give me what he promised. My freedom.

I've waited forever until this moment. Wickery Bridge use to give me nightmares. It was the place where I lost the first part of my life, the normal part. It was the place my parents left me, well I left them. Stefan saved me, which I'm grateful for, but I still wish I had my parents by my side. Maybe if I still had my parents I wouldn't be in this mess. My contemplating was interrupted by headlights that turned to face towards me. The car slowed to a stop, I walked up to the driver's side as the window started to roll down. I crossed my elbows and leaned them on the car door as Freddie, my newly acquainted friend asked me, "you really wanna fucking do this?"

I leaned in to the car a little more, "I'm sure I want to do this. I'm ready to get out of this fucking town." Freddie nodded at me. I went back to where I was standing and grabbed my suitcase and backpack, then loading them into Freddie's car. I got in on the passenger side of the car, hit by the aroma of weed. Relaxing my body in to the seat I looked over at Freddie and gave him a small smile before nodding my head. Together we took off for the night.

* * *

Sitting on the nicely made up bed with my legs crossed I watched Freddie move around the hotel room. When he looked back at me he started to grin. "What?" I asked. He stalked towards me, approaching the bed. When his knees hit the bed he was forced to crawl on it towards me. His lips reached mine as I started to lean back with him. Soon he was on top of me, pulling at my shirt. I wasn't in to Freddie romantically like I was with Stefan, but I didn't care. It was the release we both needed. Clothes were shed, and the foreplay was skipped. The force between us was nothing like Stefan and I ever had. The push and pull. We let ourselves pretend for each other, we let our bodies use each other for the desire that was yearned for. It was never meant to be romantic, no kissing, just mutual feelings.

Later that night melted wax and glass tubes sprawled across the table, white dust coated the table as powder sugar might have with a cake. I heard Freddie next to me, breathing steadily. We were both naked and resting comfortably on the bed. His right side of the face pressed into the side of the pillow his mouth slightly opened. I thought about life back in Mystic Falls. It hasn't even been a day since I left. I wondered about how Stefan would be worried, and how Damon would be pissed. I thought about Klaus. His face must be contorted into that of anger. Rebekah must be rejoicing, yet sad that she didn't kill me yet. I thought about Elijah, how I had drove a dagger through him, and lied to his face, yet somehow he still protected me. I continued to think hard about what I was doing. Freddie didn't know about the vampires. He would just assume that I'm still high and laugh at me. That was the only thing no one knew about, my deal with Freddie, and no one would find out. I knew it was wrong, to run away from the problem, but I couldn't help myself.

Getting out of bed, I slipped into Freddie's shirt. Walking over to the table I picked up my glass tube and re-lit a new candle. I prepped the glass tube, like Freddie had shown me a billion times before, then held it over the candle. I winced a little with the hot vapor going down my throat and into my lungs. I continued to breath in, as I felt my body began to relax, getting use to the heat.

Blowing out the candle and putting the glass tube in back on the table I went back to the bed. Laying down, then curling into Freddie's side I closed my eyes and fell into my never ending thoughts, into my personal limbo.

Freddie and I never talked about our pasts. We agreed that we didn't need to burden each other with the past. To start on a clean slate, and forget about the bad things that we've done or the been through. Secretly I want to know Freddie, but I'm content with what we have now. Sometime during or after my high I must have fallen asleep. I don't remember much but lying next to Freddie, next thing I know I'm waking up later, but alone.

* * *

**I, personally, don't do drugs. I don't really know where I'm going with this, so there will be a lot of edits. Just bare with me. Anyways, I am going to try and skip over the feeling of drugs and what it is like. I am a slow poke and just started the second season of the Vampire Diaries. I am not a total fan, but I love the show. I know about the Originals and I have seen clips of later episodes on YouTube, enough to kind of guess what is happening. Thanks.  
**

**Lamiya.  
**


	2. Someone Kill the DJ

Someone kill the DJ

Shoot the fucking DJ

Voices in my head are saying

Shoot that fucker down.

We are the vultures the dirtiest kind

"Kill the DJ" by Green Day

* * *

It's been three weeks since I left Mystic Falls. I'm now in New Orleans, enjoying life to the fullest as they say. Freddie and I have bounced around living with his friends. The friends we are living with now in New Orleans are very nice, although the red head chick, Amanda seems to always be grabbing a chance with Freddie's cock. At first I found this amusing, but now I'm just bored of her.

I haven't thought back to Mystic Falls, much, since two nights after we left. Freddie has done a good job of keeping me on task with something, or keeping me high, or distracting me. I appreciate that he does that, he keeps a good eye out for more, considering he's a "bad" boy. I'm sure I would have done the same, if I was in his shoes. Sometimes I thought about what would happen if Klaus found us. I'm sure he would have by now, though.

Freddie and I have been out to parties, dealing and buying. He showed me the world through a different set of eyes. I'm sure Damon would have been proud of me. Freddie started in to the "business" of prescription drugs. I just stand to the side and watch as he and his friends trade and make deals. As I thought about these new memories I smiled, realizing this is the most fun of life that I have ever had. I looked at Freddie through the mirror I was currently sitting before and watched as Freddie buttoned up his dress shirt. "What?" He asked, when he noticed my staring. I just smiled and shook my head. He advanced towards me and wrapped his arms just under my breasts. He kissed gently along my neck. I tilted my head a little to give him more access.

"You look beautiful, you know," he whispered in my ear.

I smiled again, but responded, "you, yourself look rather dashing." He had on a white dress shirt and black slacks. He looked like he was going to a wedding, better yet be the groom in one. I on the other hand had on a bejeweled corset top with a flowing black tutu skirt. The skirt was just above my knees. My hair was curled and flipped to one side and I had a deep red lip stick. My eyes a smokey gray. In other words I looked "fuckable" as Freddie would say. "Are you ready?" Freddie asked. I nodded. Tonight we were going to crash a wedding.

* * *

"You know the plan right?" Freddie asked for the third time.

"Yes, I'm the distraction," I responded.

"Good, now who are you going to be distracting?" Freddie asked, going through the plan in his head once again.

"I'm going to be distracting Joey," I answered. I knew my job, and I would be lying to say that I am not nervous. Freddie looked at me and nodded.

"Okay, after Joey's speech I want you to excuse yourself to the bathroom." I nodded, signaling him to continue. "On your way there you're going to accidentally spill the champagne on to Joey. Tell him you were on your way to the bathroom and that you would be happy to help. Then I'll go and find what I need, then we'll be out." Freddie looked determined and I knew that I couldn't fail, not after this new life Freddie had shown me.

"Okay, what exactly do you need?" I asked, knowing he still won't tell me. Freddie gave me that look as if to say, 'you know that I won't tell you,' but still said he said,

"You'll find out soon enough."

The wedding was lovely. The bride and groom looked so happy after their kiss. I felt a twinge of regret, as I wont be getting married anytime soon. After the speech Joey made I made an excuse to go to the bathroom. Weaving through the tables I got near Joey and accidentally slipped. I ended up knock Joey's champagne in to his dress shirt. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I am so sorry." I started babbling. "I am so clumsy, I didn't mean to knock in to you," I was still apologizing. From the corner of my eyes I could see the newly wife glaring at me. Please bitch I could take you on anytime, I thought to myself. Everyone in the room seemed caught between laughing or getting angry. To them it did look like an honest mistake. "I could buy you a new dress shirt," I found myself still babbling.

"It's okay, I was bound to change anyways," Joey said.

"I'm was on my way to the bathroom, I wouldn't mind helping you with the damage I had done," I started to say.

"No, he does not need help from you," the bitch said to me. I looked at Joey who smiled at his wife.

"Sweetheart, she didn't mean to, and I'm just going to go to the bathroom and clean myself up," Joey explained to his wife. To interject I started babbling and congratulating the couple and still apologizing to Joey. "It will be alright," Joey said as he made his way to the restrooms. Still pretending I needed to go I weaved though the tables after him. Everyone was looking a me right now. It was quite embarrassing even though it was staged. A soon as Joey entered the restroom and I heard a lock on the door I pulled the chair that was in the waiting room over until it was up against the door. Then I sat down and waited.

It wasn't long until I heard the door unlock. The door then tried to open only to be pushing against the chair I was sitting on. "Hello?" I heard him say, "anyone there?" I didn't respond. I heard the door start to rattle. "Hello?! Please help me someone." Joey started to yell, banging on the door. I continued to sit, ignoring the sounds. I'm sure it has been at least ten minutes. I was wondering what was taking Freddie so long. One of the bangs on the door seemed to have echoed through out the small house that the wedding was at. Funny, I thought, I could have sworn that bang seemed like a gunshot. A few minutes later I heard screaming and then saw Freddie with a gun running my way. His hand seemed to be clutching something, holding on to it as if his life depended on it. Quickly I stood up, pushing the chair to the side, and opened the door for Joey. Joey looked panicked. A few seconds of the door being open and then he rushed out. I heard Freddie yelling at him, point the gun. "Where is the fucking jewel?" Freddie asked. His gun trained on Joey.

"What are you talking about man?" Joey asked.

"I want that fucking jewel!" Freddie yelled, "where is it? You know what it looks like, it's white and foggy."

Joey looked so confused. "Maybe he doesn't have it," I said to Freddie. Freddie then turned to me, his gun pointing directly at me.

"Don't defend him bitch. I only brought you along cause you looked like _her_." Freddie sneered.

"Who?" I asked, not feeling as nervous as I should have with a gun pointing directly at me.

"Katherine," Freddie hissed.

I gasped, "how do you know Katherine?"

"We met a while back. She told me about you, your just a doppelganger, never as good as the original. I don't see why every one is obsessed over you." Freddie scoffed. I felt tears in my eyes. I could never get away from my cursed life, even the drugs couldn't take me away. "Say your last fucking goodbye Elena," I heard Freddie say. The loud noise from the gun reached my ears before the pain, or was it the other way around? Vaguely in my mind all I thought was, shoot that fucker down.

* * *

**I know the wedding crashing was bad, but I needed to speed things up a little. Just keep baring with me. Thanks.****  
**

**Lamiya.  
**


	3. Bleeding Out

When the hour is night, and hopelessness is sinking in

And the wolves all cry, to fill the night with hollering

When your eyes are red, and emptiness is all you know

And the darkness fed, I will be your scarecrow

You tell me to hold on, oh you tell me yo hold on

But the innocence is gone, and what was right is wrong

Cause I'm bleeding out, so if it the last thing that I do

Is bring you down, I'll bleed out for you

So I bare my skin, and I count my sins

And I close my eyes, and I take it in

And I'm bleeding out, I'm bleeding out for you

"Bleeding Out" by Imagine Dragons

* * *

My head was swirling. I felt like I was drowning again. Panicked I tried to swim towards the surface. What happened to me? I couldn't tune in on the voices, it was like a bad radio reception. I tried to remember what happened, but I couldn't bring myself to think past all the static noise. My head was pounding, or was that my heart? I wanted to open my eyes but something was telling me it is too bright. Was this a drug overdose? Where was I? Questions clumped in my brain, only to scatter as another train of thought hit me. I was too shocked and confused I didn't recognize the immediate pain in my body. The pain seemed to scorch through my veins. What was going on? Through the static I could hear some words, "hold on, Elena, hold on, Elena." It seemed like a broken record was playing. I thought to myself, hold on to what? Where am I? I have never experienced this during one of my highs. Maybe this is a drug overdose. I concluded that is was a drug overdose as I fell back under the spell of darkness.

Beep...Beep...Beep...

Oh my fucking god, what is that horrible sound. Someone make it stop. Please, just stop.

Beep...Beep...Beep...

It hasn't stopped. Why hasn't it stopped? As I concentrated on the something other than the annoying beep I hear it. A voice, that sounded strangely familiar. "How is she?"

"She's stable. There are signs of drug use. Where did you find her?"

"At a cousin's friend's friend's wedding. It's complicated. I was there to fill in a position my brother couldn't take. Last minute stuff."

"Ahh, weddings... Weddings are suppose to be beautiful and full of joy. No one's suppose to be shot."

This conversation seemed weird. It wasn't what a normal person should ask in a normal conversation. I made up my mind that compulsion was used. How did I know this?

As I heard the word shot memories started to fill my mind. Freddie, his gun. Yelling for a white foggy jewel. Katherine. Katherine was looking for the moonstone. I understand it all now. I gotten in to drugs for nothing. I've been conned and played and thrown away like a used tissue. Suddenly I felt disgusted with myself. How could I have let myself become what I have become. I must go back to Mystic Falls. I have to explain about Katherine's new plan. Joey, why would Freddie think that Joey had the moonstone? Too much questions and not enough answers.

* * *

"Did you give her some more of my blood?"

"Yes, I did."

This conversation woke me up again. My eyes must have started to flutter because I heard a voice, "Elena? Elena? Are you okay?"

I finally opened my eyes. That took too much effort, I thought. I looked around the room, a bit confused and a bit blurry. Finally my eyes rested on the figure in front of me. "Elena? Elena?" The figure was asking.

"Elijah?" I asked. My vision becoming clear again. There he was standing in all of his glory. He was wearing a fancy suit as normal and his hear was cropped. He looked rather nice. Elijah. The name in my head, it was relief.

"Elena? What do you remember?" Elijah asked me.

"Where am I?" I started to panic, what did they think of me? Running off and doing drugs, only to get shot, like a real druggie.

"Elena, calm down. What do you remember?" Elijah asked me.

"I-I remember a wedding and, uh, I remember Freddie. He had a gun!" I exclaimed. "Am I dead?" I asked in a week voice.

"No, you're healed though. You still have my blood in your system though." Elijah's forehead wrinkled as he frowned. "You're going to come back home to Mystic Falls with me," Elijah began.

"No!" I yelled, "no I can't go!" I was in a panic at this point.

"Elena, listen to me, yes you need to," Elijah tried to soothe me.

"What has happened?" I needed to know.

"Well, uh, Stefan and Rebekah had hooked up, but Stefan is back with Katerina. Your witch friend is with your brother. Klaus and Caroline are together, in a sense. Uh, Damon has finally tamed Rebekah," Elijah told me with his frown back in place. I felt tears in my eyes, but this is what I wanted wasn't it? I wanted Stefan and Damon to be happy and with someone that could actually love them with the love that they deserved. "Oh and Tyler went off somewhere with his hybrid mate," Elijah continued. I wasn't really paying attention.

"Couldn't you have just left me alone?" I asked.

"Elena, you would have died," Elijah said.

"I know that," I said, "or I wouldn't have been doing drugs." As soon as those words came out of my mouth I immediately regretted saying them. Elijah's expression became mad.

"What drugs?" Elijah asked in a monotone voice. I looked away, refusing to look him in the eyes. "Elena, what drugs have you been doing?" Elijah asked again.

"Never mind, forget that I said that." I knew it was a feeble attempt to get him him to drop the subject, and I knew it wouldn't have worked.

"Elena, why have you been doing drugs? Was that why I found you on the side of the road bleeding and dying?" Elijah looked furious. Yet he hasn't vamped out yet.

"On the side of the road, I thought you were at the wedding," I said. I thought I heard him say that earlier.

"I would have been at the wedding, yet I wasn't invited in. Plus weddings make me sick. Love until death, what a dream," Elijah scowled. At this time the nurse came in. She evaluated all my medical issues then decided it was time for me to sleep again. "Have sweet dreams Elena," Elijah said. I thought about what he said. 'I found you on the side of the road bleeding and dying.' I was cleansing myself by bleeding out.


End file.
